"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. "(Frederick Douglass)
“If you want a candy bar, take a dollar from your piggy bank and walk to the store,” says the mother of an 8-year old boy. The father chirps in a statesman-like manner and says, “Relax, I will take you to the store and treat you to a candy bar.” The parents are angry with one another, and the child wishes he had never asked for a candy bar.
The candy bar story is a tale of stress that frequently happens in many homes. Clearly, the mother’s efforts to focus upon her son’s money responsibility have been thwarted by her husband on this occasion. Unpredictability, strife, and chaos are characteristics often observed in families that operate without a united purpose. It is like a rudderless sailboat drifting in the ocean without a destination and subject to all the winds and storms that come and go. This being the case, the remainder of this blog focuses on the need for parents to develop a purposeful mission statement that guides their actions and decisions.
The Mission Statement
A powerful but very succinct example of a family mission statement that promotes childhood independence is listed below (Michael Popkin, 2007) :
The purpose of parenting is to protect and prepare children to survive and thrive in the kind of society we live in.
If the “candy bar” couple adopted this mission statement as a guiding light for family decisions, one might see an emphasis on the following commitments when decisions are made:
• Protect the health, safety, and well-being of family members
• Prepare children to be successfully independent in society
• Help children do well in school, understand themselves, and interact positively with others to thrive in our complex society.
These parents would agree to teach and encourage their son to save money, budget,
and safely walk to the store independently. The son would be empowered to become independent; the parents would be happy with one another, and the Mars bar would be savored.
A sample template to develop a Mission Statement might look like this:
Parent Mission Statement
Our primary role as parents is to: ______________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
We agree to live and emphasize the following values as much as possible:
1. ____________________________
2. ____________________________
3. ____________________________
4. ____________________________
We understand that this mission statement is dynamic, and it will need to be discussed and reviewed frequently.
_______________________________________________
Signed
Call to Action
Parents are encouraged to take the time to discuss what the mission of their parenting is. This is no easy task, but it is essential for all members of the family unit. Once a mission statement is agreed upon, it is crucial for the parents to use this mission statement as a reference point for decisions. Periodically, parents need to revisit their mission statement to ensure their actions are aligned with their mission…. Good Luck!
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